What do I do? Depressed, SA, ED?

Q. Every single day I feel, I guess, bored of life. Everything seems so saddened and grey. I think I might have social anxiety I have all the symptoms of it so I'm pretty sure. I always very quiet around people and I never talk not even to my friends. I want to be able to talk to people and hold conversations or even start one but I just can't. I always putting myself down an asking myself why can't you be like your cousin Kristy or Fernando because they have the greatest personality. They always are the "life of the party". My mom always tells me the same thing that why can't I be like them and I was like the I wouldn't feel like this and I would have more friends. I know she's right but I can't seem to. I also seem to have an eating disorder for 3 years; I used to eat very little but now I overeat it (binge eating disorder) every single day. Which makes me feel miserable because I feel very fat and feel terrible I'm not like I was 2 years ago. I also think all of this has caused me to be depressed. I know I shouldn't even be depressed since my life as as bad as many others but I can't seem to help it. I cry for no apparent reason and now like I said before I'm overeating. The symptoms of depression also suit me well.
I told my mom about the Social Anxiety and told her if I could see the doctor about it but she doesn't seem to want to help. She thinks I just making this up and pretending I have Social Anxiety and she thinks SA isn't even real. I feel alone. Like no one gets me and loves me.
I also have anxiety attacks daily.

A. i too had bad anxiety and attacks almost everyday! You should go to your Dr. tell him what you are feeling, tell him about how your social anxiety is affecting your life and how it's made it difficult to be a functional person. How your are to anxious to even talk to your friends. I know what your going though i was there and its really hard. Your Dr. will most likely prescribe you to paxil or another medication like it. But that takes a while to work. So if he doesn't offer to you for the mean time i highly recommend asking for xanax .5 will probably work wonders you'll be alot happier and it will make it so much easier for your to talk to people and make friends. i know it will be scary to tell your dr. about this but it will be soo good for you. remember you don't have to live like this there is a cure for what you are experiencing, and you can be happy and out going like everyone else.
best of luck
your not alone
-Aarika

Could I have possibly have borderline personality disorder? [long]?
Q. So this is going to be kind of a long story, thank you to anyone that's willing to read it and help me out. I used to think I was normal, but once I made it to junior high I noticed I've never really worked the same way as anyone else (I was really anxious, I hated being there, I couldn't speak without stuttering like anyone else, I was very withdrawn for no good reason.) I had a few friends but I barely saw them and I felt I had to fake myself to be around them, you know? I missed a lot of school and ended up being homeschooled for most of 8th grade.

All of this got extremely worse when I started high school..by November I'd withdrawn from all the friends I managed to make and had terrible attendance, extreme anxiety, got really stressed out over really dumb things. I started self-harming and I felt low and suicidal a lot of the time, so I just assumed I had depression.I failed 2 classes cause I just felt so overwhelmed and exposed in the environments, I don't know.

I begged my parents to take me to see a doctor about it but they just blew it off as teenage blues and refused to take it seriously even after I told them about my suicide attempt, which was really hard to do. Whenever I persisted and told them I thought I was depressed, they'd make fun of me and say I was just feeling sorry for myself. Over time I realized the bouts of depression were frequent, but only temporary. I got sick of being so withdrawn and terrified of the world so I started to look for ways to get over it. They'd convinced me it was hormones, there was nothing wrong with me.

I found the only effective way for me to feel confident was to straight up fake it and pretend to be a completely new person. It took a lot of time just to be able to go outside without trying to hide myself. I still hate myself, I'm as insecure and unstable as I was but I manage to cover it all up, people even tell me they're intimidated by me. The thing is, I've done this for so long with so many different people tailored to who I think they want me to be, I don't even know who I am. I feel like I have 4 seperate personalities, one where I have the biggest ego, feel invincible, capable of anything. I think everyone loves me by default, and I love them back just as much.
Another where I'm anxious, raging at the smallest things, sensitive to everything like the world's out to get me and I convince myself all my friends/family hate me, I end up self harming and being suicidal when I feel like this.
In the third I just feel numb, like all my emotions are dulled and I'm fixed with a blank expression, everything feels gray. When I'm like this I have a tendancy to relapse into an eating disorder, drink, take drugs, sneak out at night and do other potentially self destructive things. The last is the rarest one, where I just feel normal. I feel emotions but they aren't dulled or intensified, they're just normal. I'm actually able to think rationally.

The worst thing about this is that they can change instantly. I never know who I'll be when I wake up. There's so many things that trigger me into them and I can't control myself during most of the epiodes. It's like I'm watching myself f*** things up but I can't do anything about them. I've lost every friend I had cause I change who I am so fast. I've researched every mental disorder and BPD fit me so accurately it scared me. I grew up as the neglected and physically/emotionally abused middle child of two alcoholic parents. I just realized this recently, Idk why but I always assumed normal families were like this. I thought all of this was normal but when I put all the pieces together I can't help but suspect I have BPD. I'm a month from being 17, and I'm not in school cause I can't handle being in the real world every single day. I'm going back this September, and I'm hoping to seek help from a counselor if they can do anything about it since my parents won't and I have no one else to ask. I know you can't be diagnosed until you're 18, but I've had the symptoms for 3 years.. I don't know. Am I completely off or am I on the track to making myself sane again? If you read all this thank you.
does.hurt.dead, I thought I was just being over dramatic to be honest. I'm 6 minutes into the video and I can relate to everything so far. It must seem very unrealistic, but my answer to every question is yes. I'd rate your answer up but I'm not a high enough level yet. Thank you so much.

A. First off, you're not alone. I'm BPD and it sounds like you may have it- though it can be bipolar also. The main thing to do is get counseling if you really want a diagnosis.

Doctors ask and identify BPD if you exhibit 5 of the following symptoms typically (though three works for some)
-Do your moods change frequently or unexpectedly?
-Do you find yourself getting intensely angry with others very easily?
-Do you have an addiction to drugs or alcohol?
-Do you cut, burn or otherwise hurt yourself to relieve emotional numbness or pain?
-Are you impulsive in areas that are potentially self-damaging such as overspending, risky sexual behavior or binge eating and other eating disorder behaviors?
-Do you make impulsive or self-defeating decisions?
-Are you afraid that people you care about will reject or abandon you?
-Are you uncertain about who you really are and what you want from life?
-Do you feel empty or bored inside?
-Do you sometimes become so stressed that you feel threatened or paranoid?
-Do you feel that it is very dangerous to deeply trust other people?

There are no medications made specifically for BPD. You can be put on a mood stabilizer, like Lamictal, an antidepressant, like Prozac, an anti-anxiety, like Xanax, or nothing at all. It's highly recommended to get dialectal behavioral therapy, especially if you have borderline rage.

I'd watch this documentary. It's rather insightful into the whole thing and may help you understand it better if you are BPD. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=967Ckat7f98

How can I fix my problems with bdd, low self esteem and anxiety?
Q. I'm almost 17. I've dealt with depression, social and general anxiety/panic, anorexia, occasional episodes of binge eating, body dysmorphic disorder, suicidal thoughts and 1 suicide attempt a year ago (overdose), as well as not being able to focus on much very well at all. This is mostly because of things that have happened to me, and trying to deal with them. Because of these things I struggle w/ going out of the house at all, even though I have been told a lot I am very pretty, smart, talented, and have a bright future. But it has become increasingly more difficult.

I've been on Zoloft - which made me very depressed, sad and moody. I also have been on Xanax, but only for a couple weeks since it's addicting - but it helped a LOT and gave me the ability to feel better about myself.

I have seen about 5 therapists in the past, and honestly I'm sick of it and telling my "story" to yet another person. I am a private person and feel like they don't understand at all. Plus its expensive.

I just want to get on with my life! I am young and would like to overcome all this but I don't know what changes I need to make. The one thing I don't think I can give up is anorexia, because that gives me security and any confidence I do have. That's one thing I no longer want to discuss with a therapist b/c they seem to want to dwell on that more than the other things that are the real problem - like anxiety seeing friends, or even leaving my house.

Thank you for any answers! :)

A. Sounds to me like you need a goal. Keep in mind that all of the stuff you told me collectively sounds like yes you do have a problem with depression. Antidepression medication is a way to help you out and may very well me necessary. Don't feel bad if you take it, it defies the purpose of taking it!

Are you athletic? Try doing something like setting a goal to run in a 5K race, then a 10K and then a marathon or a Triathlon. Doing this will help you gain a purpose and hopefully put an end to suicidal feelings, and help you feel a whole lot better. And yes, the anorexia is a problem you do need to tackle. Don't just think that I'm like any of your therapist by any means, because I'm not a therapist at all. I'm someone who has seen others like you and hoped to make a change in their life. If the athletic side doesn't work for you try giving yourself to a religion. Becoming a Christian works easiest because there are so many churches. And they can help! I've done it myself at my church. But I'm not going to preach. It's up to you what you want to do with your life, and being that there are so many decisions choose wisely. And remember it's not about how you look on the outside alone it's how you look on the inside too.
Hope this helped, I wish the best for you!




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