Q. The scary part is I take more Ambien and binge eat during these episodes, with no memory of it...but thankfully don't leave the house.
A. Ambien and Lunesta are known for "blackouts"... some people even wake up in places not knowing how they got there-- or DRIVE while asleep!
Try Benedryll (Really!) 3 tablets or capsuls an hour or two before bed. If that doesn't help, talk to your doctor about some of the older drugs such as # Ativan (Lorazepam) or Xanax (Alprazolam)... xanax is actually a relaxant as opposed to a sleep aid... but with ALL sleep aids (except the benedryll) there is a huge chance of addiction/dependancey.
Believe it or not-- Indica Cannabis is one of the safest sleep aids there is... but unfortunately- unless you live in a State that has legalized marijuana for medical use- you are out of luck. BUT: if you live where it is legal, AND you have documentation of severe, long-term sleep disruption, get a med card and buy a Good Indica at a dispensary, along with a vaporizer-- so you are not smoking it, but inhaling only the medicinal part of the plant.
Try Benedryll (Really!) 3 tablets or capsuls an hour or two before bed. If that doesn't help, talk to your doctor about some of the older drugs such as # Ativan (Lorazepam) or Xanax (Alprazolam)... xanax is actually a relaxant as opposed to a sleep aid... but with ALL sleep aids (except the benedryll) there is a huge chance of addiction/dependancey.
Believe it or not-- Indica Cannabis is one of the safest sleep aids there is... but unfortunately- unless you live in a State that has legalized marijuana for medical use- you are out of luck. BUT: if you live where it is legal, AND you have documentation of severe, long-term sleep disruption, get a med card and buy a Good Indica at a dispensary, along with a vaporizer-- so you are not smoking it, but inhaling only the medicinal part of the plant.
What should I do? I hate myself, my life is messed up help me?
Q. Ok so the first thing I hate about myself is I'm really scared because I'm starting to LOVE getting f*cked up. All I do is get high (marijuana), alcohol, and sometimes cough syrup or cough syrup mixed with jungle juice, and xanax, and I love being out of my mind and out of control. Sometimes, like last night, I mix all of those things, which I'm aware can kill me. The problem is, this is all happening too fast. I hadn't had a droplet of alcohol until like 3 months ago and I also tried weed about 3 months ago. I had good intentions for experimenting: I have OCD and I was deathly afraid of drugs, alcohol, caffeine, food preservatives/colors, to the point where I couldn't eat anything and it controlled my life. I wanted to conquer some of those irrational fears and now it's one extreme to the other. All I wanted was to let go a little, and now all I care about is the next time I'll be high or drunk.
2nd thing: I"m a college student and I just started my freshmen year. I'm literally failing everything. I go to a top notch university, best in my state, top 20 in the US because I used to be an extreme perfectionist so if I got a 99 I would cry and hate myself. I have overcome my OCD and perfectionism, so now without wanting to be perfect, I have no motivational drive. I either have to get all A's or all failing grades. There's no middle ground for me. I have no direction, no real goals of what I want to become. All I wanted was perfection, that was my only goal and now I"m the complete opposite.
I also hate how un-caring I've become. I don't care about anyone or anything but myself and partying. I want to care about other people. I see people suffering and I see people on the streets in my college town, but instead of stopping and buying them food, I spend it all on myself. I don't know how to care but I really want to be a good person again. I also used to be very involved in animal rights. I still really "care" about that stuff deep down but I don't really because caring isn't a feeling, it's taking action. I was a vegan and I still "am" a vegan (at least I still tell people I'm a vegan) but I"ve had an eating disorder for 9 years (mostly anorexia but mixed with purging/compulsive exercise) and I'm starting to binge/purge again which I will fix. But the thing is, I always binge on sweets and cookies and cakes and those aren't vegan and i know It's all bs and I don't actually care about animals because I *say* I do but then I turn my back and binge on non-vegan food and I'm the biggest joke and hypocrite on this entire planet.
Someone, help. I'm broken. I'm a f*ck-up.
2nd thing: I"m a college student and I just started my freshmen year. I'm literally failing everything. I go to a top notch university, best in my state, top 20 in the US because I used to be an extreme perfectionist so if I got a 99 I would cry and hate myself. I have overcome my OCD and perfectionism, so now without wanting to be perfect, I have no motivational drive. I either have to get all A's or all failing grades. There's no middle ground for me. I have no direction, no real goals of what I want to become. All I wanted was perfection, that was my only goal and now I"m the complete opposite.
I also hate how un-caring I've become. I don't care about anyone or anything but myself and partying. I want to care about other people. I see people suffering and I see people on the streets in my college town, but instead of stopping and buying them food, I spend it all on myself. I don't know how to care but I really want to be a good person again. I also used to be very involved in animal rights. I still really "care" about that stuff deep down but I don't really because caring isn't a feeling, it's taking action. I was a vegan and I still "am" a vegan (at least I still tell people I'm a vegan) but I"ve had an eating disorder for 9 years (mostly anorexia but mixed with purging/compulsive exercise) and I'm starting to binge/purge again which I will fix. But the thing is, I always binge on sweets and cookies and cakes and those aren't vegan and i know It's all bs and I don't actually care about animals because I *say* I do but then I turn my back and binge on non-vegan food and I'm the biggest joke and hypocrite on this entire planet.
Someone, help. I'm broken. I'm a f*ck-up.
A. How special you are...
your presence is a gift to the world,
you are unique and different from all others.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Live it once a day.
Count your blessings,
not your problems,
and see how you move forward.
There are many answers within you,
Understand, be brave, be strong.
Do not set limits,
your dreams are waiting to become true.
Do not leave your importante decisions to chance,
strive to reach the goal,
your goal,
and your prize.
Nothing makes you lose more energy than concerns,
The more time you keep a problem, the heavier it becomes.
Do not take things too seriously.
Live your life with serenity, not with regrets.
Remeber that a little bit of love can last long time.
Remember that enough love can last for ever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life treasures are people ...when they're together.
Have health, hope and happiness,
Take the time to wish upon a star.
And do not forget, even for a day
How special you are!
Best Regards
your presence is a gift to the world,
you are unique and different from all others.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Live it once a day.
Count your blessings,
not your problems,
and see how you move forward.
There are many answers within you,
Understand, be brave, be strong.
Do not set limits,
your dreams are waiting to become true.
Do not leave your importante decisions to chance,
strive to reach the goal,
your goal,
and your prize.
Nothing makes you lose more energy than concerns,
The more time you keep a problem, the heavier it becomes.
Do not take things too seriously.
Live your life with serenity, not with regrets.
Remeber that a little bit of love can last long time.
Remember that enough love can last for ever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life treasures are people ...when they're together.
Have health, hope and happiness,
Take the time to wish upon a star.
And do not forget, even for a day
How special you are!
Best Regards
Do I sound like I need psychiatric help?
Q. 1. My self-esteem fluctuates a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm an awkward, worthless idiot and other times I feel capable, intelligent and likeable. Appearance-wise, my self image changes drastically as well. Most of the time, I feel like I look tired and pale, but when I'm going to a party dressed provocatively, wearing a ton of makeup, etc. I feel unusually attractive and think all the guys in the room are looking at me- I have no idea if they actually are, I just feel incredibly confident in these situations. Otherwise, I obsess about my appearance, especially my weight. I don't have an eating disorder, but I have recently dieted my way down to 116 lbs (at 5'8). I don't know why I do this because I feel like I look like a skinny crack-whore, but I just enjoy the discipline of it and having a goal to work for. My mood is also all over the place. I go through a phase (lasting a couple hours to a day) where I feel really high, in-control and excited about the future. I plan out a lot of things I'm going to do like organize my dorm, clean everything, get a paper finished early, etc. Then it kind of fades or I crash and feel like I can't get out of bed or eat.
2. I have a problem with binge drinking. I know how to drink safely and always start out intending to just have one or two and stop, but as soon as the first drink is in my hand, all of the intentions go out the window and I can't stop until I pass out or someone takes my drink away. I typically have about 5-7 mixed drinks or shots when I drink, and I sometimes mix with Xanax. I have blacked out and thrown up on multiple occasions, and I was even hospitalized for alcohol poisoning about a month ago. I don't crave alcohol otherwise; I only drink when I go to frat parties. My behavior when I'm drunk is also a bit unsettling. I am extremely sexual and I let guys touch me, make out with me, take me to their rooms, etc. I often don't remember a lot about these encounters, but my friends say that I typically make out with 3-4 different guys at a party and get angry/mean if my friends try to stop me from going to their rooms. When I wake up the next morning and realize the stuff I did the night before, I am horrified because I have a boyfriend (law student @ the same university) who is totally oblivious to all this. I want to stop going to frats bc I think I'm getting a bit of a reputation, but my friends want to go every weekend and I'd rather be with them than alone in my room.
3. Speaking of which, when I have a lot of time to myself, I obsess about certain weird things that nobody cares about. Like, for instance, I used to get obsessed with the idea that the lamp on my desk was going to tip over on my computer and break it, ruining all the work I hadn't backed up. I kept imagining it happening over and over again and I couldn't concentrate on anything else, but didn't want to move the lamp either. Especially after a night of drinking, I often can't leave my room all day. I lie on my rug staring at the clock and i keep telling myself that I'm going to get up and take a shower in 5 minutes, but I end up lying there literally all day even if I have vomit in my hair and feel disgusting. I also have- not fantasies exactly- but I guess recurring thoughts about my future. It's nothing good; I keep imagining myself failing out of school and becoming a stripper. But anyway, there thoughts are really vivid and I can't snap out of thinking about it for hours.
3. This has been a big issue for me my entire life. I lie constantly, often without even realizing it. Like a lot of people, I exaggerate to make myself look better, but it's more than that. I lie about completely unimportant things like what I had to eat that day. Sometimes, I honestly don't think about whether or not what's coming out of my mouth is true or not. I have done this since I was a kid, but it's gotten much, much worse since I've been in college. When I'm around my family, I pretend like I've got everything under control and am happy. I make up stories about my friends partying too much-even though I'm the worst one- to make myself look better, and what's weird is that I even start to kind of believe my own lies.
I'm not sure if there's something wrong with me, or if I just make bad choices. I have tried multiple times to snap out of all these things, but I always fall back into them. I am completely miserable with the way I've made my life turn out now. Can anyone with a background in mental health tell me what I might possibly be dealing with if it's some kind of disorder? And how might I start managing myself better? Thanks in advance.
2. I have a problem with binge drinking. I know how to drink safely and always start out intending to just have one or two and stop, but as soon as the first drink is in my hand, all of the intentions go out the window and I can't stop until I pass out or someone takes my drink away. I typically have about 5-7 mixed drinks or shots when I drink, and I sometimes mix with Xanax. I have blacked out and thrown up on multiple occasions, and I was even hospitalized for alcohol poisoning about a month ago. I don't crave alcohol otherwise; I only drink when I go to frat parties. My behavior when I'm drunk is also a bit unsettling. I am extremely sexual and I let guys touch me, make out with me, take me to their rooms, etc. I often don't remember a lot about these encounters, but my friends say that I typically make out with 3-4 different guys at a party and get angry/mean if my friends try to stop me from going to their rooms. When I wake up the next morning and realize the stuff I did the night before, I am horrified because I have a boyfriend (law student @ the same university) who is totally oblivious to all this. I want to stop going to frats bc I think I'm getting a bit of a reputation, but my friends want to go every weekend and I'd rather be with them than alone in my room.
3. Speaking of which, when I have a lot of time to myself, I obsess about certain weird things that nobody cares about. Like, for instance, I used to get obsessed with the idea that the lamp on my desk was going to tip over on my computer and break it, ruining all the work I hadn't backed up. I kept imagining it happening over and over again and I couldn't concentrate on anything else, but didn't want to move the lamp either. Especially after a night of drinking, I often can't leave my room all day. I lie on my rug staring at the clock and i keep telling myself that I'm going to get up and take a shower in 5 minutes, but I end up lying there literally all day even if I have vomit in my hair and feel disgusting. I also have- not fantasies exactly- but I guess recurring thoughts about my future. It's nothing good; I keep imagining myself failing out of school and becoming a stripper. But anyway, there thoughts are really vivid and I can't snap out of thinking about it for hours.
3. This has been a big issue for me my entire life. I lie constantly, often without even realizing it. Like a lot of people, I exaggerate to make myself look better, but it's more than that. I lie about completely unimportant things like what I had to eat that day. Sometimes, I honestly don't think about whether or not what's coming out of my mouth is true or not. I have done this since I was a kid, but it's gotten much, much worse since I've been in college. When I'm around my family, I pretend like I've got everything under control and am happy. I make up stories about my friends partying too much-even though I'm the worst one- to make myself look better, and what's weird is that I even start to kind of believe my own lies.
I'm not sure if there's something wrong with me, or if I just make bad choices. I have tried multiple times to snap out of all these things, but I always fall back into them. I am completely miserable with the way I've made my life turn out now. Can anyone with a background in mental health tell me what I might possibly be dealing with if it's some kind of disorder? And how might I start managing myself better? Thanks in advance.
A. Before anything else, yes. you need to see a therapist.
It sounds like you are in your teens, trying to fit in, finding out your personality and that your having an issue at home an donly a licenced therapist can help you tackle things
It sounds like you are in your teens, trying to fit in, finding out your personality and that your having an issue at home an donly a licenced therapist can help you tackle things
Powered by Yahoo! Answers
